Beep. Click. Fume.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I am really very proud to announce that the great Andy Ihnatko- columnist for the Chicago Sun Times and Macworld Magazine is joining us as a contributor here. Andy will be covering photography from the consumer’s point of view like nobody else can. Welcome Andy!
Photo and post by Andy Ihnatko
Douglas Adams once co-authored a book entitled “The Meaning Of Liff.” It was a dictionary of words that didn’t exist, but desperately needed to be invented, pronto. The correctness and importance if this bold endeavor is underscored for me on a daily basis. I’m faced with a familiar situation or frustration and one of those words pops right back into my head.
Saturday, I spent a good portion of the afternoon cogitating on the word “Kent,” defined by Adams as “Politely determined not to help despite a violent urge to the contrary.”
I was in Boston’s Old South Church. I was there for many fine reasons. I was there for the grandeur of its successful melding of multiple architectural and decorative movements, assembled over the past 130 years. I was there for the peace and calm that settles over you as you meditate in its sanctuary.
(And yes, I was also there because it’s open to the public, and it’s heated, and it was 17 degrees outside that day.)
But wandering into Old South underscored all of the reasons why I try not to leave the house without a halfway-decent camera in my pocket. It’s an utterly gorgeous space. It lacks the cold austerity of a stone church. The sanctuary has been sumptuously paneled in rich woods with an understated grace that radiates a heat of an entirely different kind. Even if you were in there for the funeral of a close family member, your eye would be drawn to the way the light was spilling across the tops of the pews. Your somber thoughts of your dead twin brother would be distracted by excited thoughts of the 3-megapixel lens on the phone in your jacket pocket.
I spent a fun fifteen or twenty minutes wandering around looking for shots (after making sure it was OK to shoot in there). When I finally broke out of my Photography Trance, I settled into a pew and simply enjoyed the quiet and the beauty of the place.
But before long…I was to be Tested.
“Oh, isn’t this just lovely!” a voice chirped. An elderly woman built vaguely on the Margaret Dumont blueprint had joined the small gaggle of tourists and fellow heat-seekers there in the sanctuary.
She manifested a conventional consumer-grade pocket camera from somewhere and aimed. I heard the beep of focus lock, followed by a synthetic shutter-click sound.
“Oh, dear,” she said, offering the screen to her husband. “That came out all blurry.”
Beep. Click.
“That one wasn’t any better, was it?”
Beep. Click.
My left eye twitched.
Beep, Click.
“Pardon me, Madam,” I didn’t say, for it would have been rude to intrude. “But I’m certain that your blurry photos are the fault of a long shutter speed. Perhaps if you steadied the camera on this piece of masonry?”
Beep, click.
“Or you could use the manual exposure-adjustment feature to force the camera to use a shorter shutter speed,” I didn’t offer. “It’ll come out dark, but it’s nothing you couldn’t fix back at home.”
Beep, click, scowl.
“Do you have the zoom set all the way at its widest setting?” I failed to ask. “Because you can get sharper handheld photos at the widest setting than you can at any other.”
Beep, click.
“Of course,” I thought, as I bit my lower lip just enough to draw blood, “even fundamental shutter techniques play a big part. You must squeeze the button, and never push or jab it. And it sounds silly, I know, but it’s even good to breathe out just before you squeeze. It stills your body, you see. Or maybe you could remove yourself from the equation entirely, by engaging the self-timer and then simply setting it on top of that railing?”
Beep. Click.
“I guess this just isn’t a very good camera,” she said with a sigh, and re-pursed it.
That poor, innocent woman left Old South without the photo she wanted. Even though it certainly was a good camera. Good enough to take a decent picture in there, at any rate.
It’s a tough, tough dilemma. I’ve certainly been on the other side of that conversation before. There have been times when I was grateful for the unsolicited advice and felt like I’d been made slightly less dumb. But there have also been times when my “savior” greatly overestimated how keen I was to get that particular shot, or was trying to help me take the photo that they wanted me to take, not the one that I wanted to take.
Suffice to say that there are risks involved with sticking your oar in another person’s photo. I had chosen to err on the side of caution.
See, I haven’t been beaten up by a woman thirty years my senior since the time I was 9 and spent an unsupervised hour melting army guys in my Mom’s new oven. I felt that the sanctuary of Old South Church wasn’t the proper place to risk another incident like that.
Thanks for the tips though, it’s a good reminder to all of us to try many things before giving up. It’s also a great reminder that cameras have multiple functions that will produce multiple options to play with later.
Thanks for the tips though, it’s a good reminder to all of us to try many things before giving up. It’s also a great reminder that cameras have multiple functions that will produce multiple options to play with later.
it’s also a great reminder that you can take pretty darn good pictures with a 3MP camera phone if you know what you’re doing. nice shot.
this post reminds me of a term used in rock climbing called “spraying.” that’s when people down at the bottom of the rock start yelling unsolicited advice up to the climber. it’s generally considered in bad form, and advice should only be given when asked for. as hard as it is to keep your mouth shut when you know something (everything) about a subject, sometimes that’s definitely for the best. thank you for the reminder :)
it’s also a great reminder that you can take pretty darn good pictures with a 3MP camera phone if you know what you’re doing. nice shot.
this post reminds me of a term used in rock climbing called “spraying.” that’s when people down at the bottom of the rock start yelling unsolicited advice up to the climber. it’s generally considered in bad form, and advice should only be given when asked for. as hard as it is to keep your mouth shut when you know something (everything) about a subject, sometimes that’s definitely for the best. thank you for the reminder :)
Its like you guys always say, “It’s not the camera, its the photographer.”
9? Don’t lie. You were nineteen.
Great column.
9? Don’t lie. You were nineteen.
Great column.
This sounds all too familiar :)
Instead of ‘the elderly woman’ my experience was with a former girlfriend who to listen, or take advice on certain matters…. Did I mention ‘former girlfriend’ :)
This sounds all too familiar :)
Instead of ‘the elderly woman’ my experience was with a former girlfriend who to listen, or take advice on certain matters…. Did I mention ‘former girlfriend’ :)
Great post, Andy! I’m so glad you’re joining the group here. It’s great listening to you on MacBreak Weekly and I look forward to more great stuff at twipphoto.com!
Great post, Andy! I’m so glad you’re joining the group here. It’s great listening to you on MacBreak Weekly and I look forward to more great stuff at twipphoto.com!
Har har! Great post, brilliant to have you on the TWIP train Andy!
Har har! Great post, brilliant to have you on the TWIP train Andy!
Welcome Andy! I will look forward to your posts.
Welcome Andy! I will look forward to your posts.
I was laughing at the title … twipphoto / twip just gets better.
Scott – How did you get him to contribute. Promise him more strawberry pancakes?
I was laughing at the title … twipphoto / twip just gets better.
Scott – How did you get him to contribute. Promise him more strawberry pancakes?
I was visiting Niagara falls one evening a few years ago and a young person was trying to take a flash photograph of the falls. Being the terminal pedagogue that I am, I stopped to suggest a different technique might be more successful. I was politely dismissed. I’ll never again offer unsolicited photography advice. I submit that some day there will be cameras “good” enough to get the best possible pictures from even the most engaged user.
I was visiting Niagara falls one evening a few years ago and a young person was trying to take a flash photograph of the falls. Being the terminal pedagogue that I am, I stopped to suggest a different technique might be more successful. I was politely dismissed. I’ll never again offer unsolicited photography advice. I submit that some day there will be cameras “good” enough to get the best possible pictures from even the most engaged user.
While there are countless instances where keeping quiet and not offering unsolicited advice is the correct thing to do, I do not think this was one of them. I can picture that older women in the church as my mom. She knows nothing about photography other then how to turn on her P&S camera. She would have done the same thing, complained (aloud), given up and gone home without the picture. She would have loved a little friendly advice, and spoken fondly of ” that nice young man who helped me take this lovely picture…”
Would you have offered advice if you knew the person ? or if they muttered something like, “I wish I knew what setting to use to get a good picture”.
I guess we’ll never know…
While there are countless instances where keeping quiet and not offering unsolicited advice is the correct thing to do, I do not think this was one of them. I can picture that older women in the church as my mom. She knows nothing about photography other then how to turn on her P&S camera. She would have done the same thing, complained (aloud), given up and gone home without the picture. She would have loved a little friendly advice, and spoken fondly of ” that nice young man who helped me take this lovely picture…”
Would you have offered advice if you knew the person ? or if they muttered something like, “I wish I knew what setting to use to get a good picture”.
I guess we’ll never know…
Andy I’m sure you hear this a lot, but you are a wonderful writer. I was completely transported. Glad to see you sharing your talents here!
Ken or kent is Scottish slang for know, or known. See Trainspotting for examples also http://www.trainspottingplay.com/scottishSlang.htm
Ken or kent is Scottish slang for know, or known. See Trainspotting for examples also http://www.trainspottingplay.com/scottishSlang.htm
And the beep and synthetic shutter noise reduces you camera battery life by half and your own life nearly immediately when you destroy the sanctuary of peace in any quiet place.
Grrrrrrr
And the beep and synthetic shutter noise reduces you camera battery life by half and your own life nearly immediately when you destroy the sanctuary of peace in any quiet place.
Grrrrrrr
Andy,
I rarely offer advice when I’m out shooting but if I see someone struggling and I get the feeling I might help, I ask them if they would like me to take their picture in the scene with their camera. They almost always say yes and sometimes will ask how I took the shot. But I always remember that no good deed ever goes unpunished.
Andy,
I rarely offer advice when I’m out shooting but if I see someone struggling and I get the feeling I might help, I ask them if they would like me to take their picture in the scene with their camera. They almost always say yes and sometimes will ask how I took the shot. But I always remember that no good deed ever goes unpunished.
It’s not an easy call. On top of everything else, I didn’t know what precisely had brought her into that church and I didn’t want to risk intruding on her “moment.”
On the other hand, when I see one member of a group taking a photo of the rest of the group in a public area, I don’t hesitate to take the camera and let the snapshotter join his or her friends. Doubly so if it’s a Happy Couple In Wuv(tm) and this is probably the only way they can get a shot of themselves together in Boston’s Public Gardens.
It’s not an easy call. On top of everything else, I didn’t know what precisely had brought her into that church and I didn’t want to risk intruding on her “moment.”
On the other hand, when I see one member of a group taking a photo of the rest of the group in a public area, I don’t hesitate to take the camera and let the snapshotter join his or her friends. Doubly so if it’s a Happy Couple In Wuv(tm) and this is probably the only way they can get a shot of themselves together in Boston’s Public Gardens.
Great to see Andy on Twip… I love all of his other stuff and he always has great insight, and he is such a great writer! Great catch for twip! Is he going to be on the pod cast too?
What about the fact that the elderly woman was in such a peaceful and quiet place and her camera was making all of those beeping noises?
Great to see Andy on Twip… I love all of his other stuff and he always has great insight, and he is such a great writer! Great catch for twip! Is he going to be on the pod cast too?
What about the fact that the elderly woman was in such a peaceful and quiet place and her camera was making all of those beeping noises?
Very familiar. :)
Great post!
great post Andy, I always enjoy reading your columns, and I’m looking forward to hearing more from you here in TWIP!
I’m surprised you didn’t tell her to use her Thumb Tripod(tm) :-)
perhaps in some future encounter you could teach people why flash photos taken from the nosebleed section of the stadium (or any section, for that matter) are useless if their intended subject is down on the stage/playing field a hundred or so yards away…
I give people a little slack on that. I’ve been guilty myself. I forget that the camera is on Auto and of course that little image chip does what it’s been programmed to do.
(And thanks for the kind words, all!)
I give people a little slack on that. I’ve been guilty myself. I forget that the camera is on Auto and of course that little image chip does what it’s been programmed to do.
(And thanks for the kind words, all!)
Please teach people that a flash from the stands does nothing more than let others know that you’re taking a picture. I am only fourteen so when I try to offer advice nobody takes it. I really enjoyed the post and I hope you write more on the blog.
Please teach people that a flash from the stands does nothing more than let others know that you’re taking a picture. I am only fourteen so when I try to offer advice nobody takes it. I really enjoyed the post and I hope you write more on the blog.
Welcome Andy! Will we be hearing your soothing vocals on the podcast also?
You bring up a good discussion point regarding unsolicited advice. I never thought about it too much, but I was always careful to try and not intrude.
Thanks for the Post Andy, I hear you on this one. There are constant times that I am out in public watching people manhandle very nice cameras. The only people I say things too are the ones that are covering the flash with their fingers or some article of clothing.
Also something I learned is NEVER question a working wedding photographer….. I asked a lady why she wasn’t using a flash diffuser and she gave me a nasty look a. 10 minutes later she had put one on…….
Thanks for the Post Andy, I hear you on this one. There are constant times that I am out in public watching people manhandle very nice cameras. The only people I say things too are the ones that are covering the flash with their fingers or some article of clothing.
Also something I learned is NEVER question a working wedding photographer….. I asked a lady why she wasn’t using a flash diffuser and she gave me a nasty look a. 10 minutes later she had put one on…….
Great to see you on TWIP Andy. I love listening to your stories on Macbreak and your writing is even better. Your remind me of a friend of mine who would tell a short story with very long descriptive tangents that were far more interesting than the story itself.
I agree with a previous poster that the people hardest to give unsolicited photography advice to is family and close friends. They get more offended. However, once the advice is solicited, I’m almost not as inclined to help out much. I guess we’re all a little screwed up in the head.
Keep posting!
Raj
Great to see you on TWIP Andy. I love listening to your stories on Macbreak and your writing is even better. Your remind me of a friend of mine who would tell a short story with very long descriptive tangents that were far more interesting than the story itself.
I agree with a previous poster that the people hardest to give unsolicited photography advice to is family and close friends. They get more offended. However, once the advice is solicited, I’m almost not as inclined to help out much. I guess we’re all a little screwed up in the head.
Keep posting!
Raj
I’m torn on this one.
On the one hand side, I can easily picture a lady like that just jumping in your face really ugly, refusing to listen to good advice with comments that might range from just impolite to downright snarky. I do get your point and I can see why one who has been told often once to often would decide not to offer comment. Certainly I would never blame anybody for that decision.
On the other hand… I earn my bread by teaching. The teacher in me would feel like I was walking past somebody who is drowning… Yes, I know, the metapher is going a bit over the edge there.
I guess wether I would offer advice or not would depend on two things: my own condition at this time (I am mostly in teaching mode but not always) and the impression I have of the one struggling. And if I’d decide to venture forth and offer advice, I’d make sure to ask if it is wanted.
Of course first I need to learn enough to be able to offer really competent advice and in that regards, I still feel wet behind the ears. How long does it take to learn mastery of a DSLR anyway? Longer than I expected, that’s for sure. But the way ist the destination and it is fun, so I’m not complaining. Thanks for sharing that advice with us.
I’m torn on this one.
On the one hand side, I can easily picture a lady like that just jumping in your face really ugly, refusing to listen to good advice with comments that might range from just impolite to downright snarky. I do get your point and I can see why one who has been told often once to often would decide not to offer comment. Certainly I would never blame anybody for that decision.
On the other hand… I earn my bread by teaching. The teacher in me would feel like I was walking past somebody who is drowning… Yes, I know, the metapher is going a bit over the edge there.
I guess wether I would offer advice or not would depend on two things: my own condition at this time (I am mostly in teaching mode but not always) and the impression I have of the one struggling. And if I’d decide to venture forth and offer advice, I’d make sure to ask if it is wanted.
Of course first I need to learn enough to be able to offer really competent advice and in that regards, I still feel wet behind the ears. How long does it take to learn mastery of a DSLR anyway? Longer than I expected, that’s for sure. But the way ist the destination and it is fun, so I’m not complaining. Thanks for sharing that advice with us.
I have the speaker on my camcorder taped over because I don’t like the loudness of the “shutter” sound. It would be nice if SLRs had quieter shutters and mirror box movement too.
So far, I’ve avoided owning a flash, usually disable it if it’s built-in. I don’t like being subjected to its action.
I have the speaker on my camcorder taped over because I don’t like the loudness of the “shutter” sound. It would be nice if SLRs had quieter shutters and mirror box movement too.
So far, I’ve avoided owning a flash, usually disable it if it’s built-in. I don’t like being subjected to its action.
Welcome Andy!
The piece you wrote is fantastic, and like an earlier poster said, I was completely transported into the story!
I like to think that this piece is more like the foundation story for where Spiderman came from… Peter Parker got his powers, failed to stop the criminal and then that criminal killed his uncle. And from then on, Peter Parker became Spiderman and helped others, wanting help or not.
I am glad you are here to help “us old ladies” take better pictures and I expect that you will stick your oars all over this forum!
I also hope to her your voice on the podcast.
See you in the TWIPiverse!
Welcome Andy!
The piece you wrote is fantastic, and like an earlier poster said, I was completely transported into the story!
I like to think that this piece is more like the foundation story for where Spiderman came from… Peter Parker got his powers, failed to stop the criminal and then that criminal killed his uncle. And from then on, Peter Parker became Spiderman and helped others, wanting help or not.
I am glad you are here to help “us old ladies” take better pictures and I expect that you will stick your oars all over this forum!
I also hope to her your voice on the podcast.
See you in the TWIPiverse!
Great to have you here Andy, always enjoy your wit and take on things!
I just did the opposite this weekend, watching someone trying to take pictures of a bunch of girls in bridal outfits at the local bridal expo which I was taking pictures at.
“Okay, on the count of three…jump!”
“One…TWo…Three”
Jump. Land. Pause.
Click.
Let’s try that again.
One. Two. Three.
Jump. Land. Pause.
Click.
“You know, if you push the button halfway down…” I started to say.
“Yes I know, I went to school…” she snapped.
Or something like that. It was a very violent response to advice offered in good faith, and I was a bit taken aback.
I will try and Kent next time, though I know that my helpful, know-it-all nature will probably get the better of me, yet again.
I just did the opposite this weekend, watching someone trying to take pictures of a bunch of girls in bridal outfits at the local bridal expo which I was taking pictures at.
“Okay, on the count of three…jump!”
“One…TWo…Three”
Jump. Land. Pause.
Click.
Let’s try that again.
One. Two. Three.
Jump. Land. Pause.
Click.
“You know, if you push the button halfway down…” I started to say.
“Yes I know, I went to school…” she snapped.
Or something like that. It was a very violent response to advice offered in good faith, and I was a bit taken aback.
I will try and Kent next time, though I know that my helpful, know-it-all nature will probably get the better of me, yet again.
A delightful, evocative introduction. Look forward to your future contributions.
Adrian
A delightful, evocative introduction. Look forward to your future contributions.
Adrian
Welcome Andy!
Welcome Andy!
I must say I immediately recognized the situation here. I myself find it very hard to resist interrupting.
I look forward to reading more of your stuff Andy.
I must say I immediately recognized the situation here. I myself find it very hard to resist interrupting.
I look forward to reading more of your stuff Andy.
Welcome Andy!
Funny post, but I gotta disagree. I jump in when I feel it’s the right thing to do, and I think this might have been the case. The nice old lady seemed like someone who didn’t get the technique of photography, not some guy with a dslr and 3 lenses on him.
If you keep advice consise, to the point, and presented in a very friendly way, I don’t think I’ve ever had someone get snippy with me.
YOU ARE LISTENING. Finally a consumer advocate at TWIP. Now don’t forget us advanced hobbyist (G10, LX, etc.) by focusing on only the low end of this market.
YOU ARE LISTENING. Finally a consumer advocate at TWIP. Now don’t forget us advanced hobbyist (G10, LX, etc.) by focusing on only the low end of this market.
I figured you would join up soon enough, glad that you are on board Andy.
I figured you would join up soon enough, glad that you are on board Andy.